Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in falselygold's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, June 16th, 2009
10:55 pm	I DO NOT WRITE HERE ANYMORE I only use LJ to look at cool shit. Also, I cannot be responsible for any of the stupid things I may have posted at any point. Not that you want to go looking back through all of this anyway. Whoever you are. (Comment on this)
Monday, March 10th, 2008
6:01 pm	lately Things I have been doing and reading and hearing and wearing and thinking lately. MUSIC Lots of Iggy Pop, TV on the Radio, Bowie, Doors, Beatles, Andre Nickatina, Itchy Mountain Men, Architecture in Helsinki, and Peter Tosh. Iggy especially...I never get tired of "Neighborhood Threat" or "Search and Destroy." Plus, Itchies are my homies, can't not love bluegrass made by buddies. BOOKS Stunned by Janet Fitch's Paint It Black. Reread The Time Traveler's Wife again--doesn't get old. Still devouring (hah) my secondhand vampire anthologies. Finished Heart of Darkness for AP Literature: amazing and there's no possible way I could convince myself I understood more than a little of what was going on beneath the surface. I envision re-reading this several times within the next year or so. ACTIVITIES Been drawing a lot. Been watching movies (Death At A Funeral is fucking hilarious, go watch it NOW). Been sleeping and just being a lot...I realized that one of the things I love to do most is sit in the sunshine and listen to music, preferably live, preferably with friends, or even better, listen to music played by friends. It's extremeley high on my list of priorities (after, of course, getting into college. don't even get me started.) CLOTHES Been going back through blackcigarette and 0ktavia after not really being on LJ for a while. One girl's Style Stalks post, and the ensuing comments, made me rethink my own style. I really, really appreciate more thoughtful, out-there, edgy outfits--see Susie Bubble of stylebubble, Agathe of Stylebytes, or Queen Michelle of Kingdom of Style--and love to look and ogle. But in my day-to-day wearings, I gravitate more to a simpler silhouette. I cannot abide sloppiness (MK and Cory Kennedy are, therefore, not my favorites), but I love things that are low effort yet high impact: a dress with interesting strap details, a t-shirt with subtly architectural construction, or flat boots that have an eyecatching harness or buckle etc. I often end up wearing the same silhouettes (shift dresses, slim-not-skinny jeans, pencil skirts) and adjusting external details around them so as not to look completely out of it. I find that (not to toot my own horn) things I think "feel" right end up trendy in about a year, without any (conscious) attempts of my own to pinpoint any trends. It's sort of a neat party trick. So this was just a little ramble, mainly to put off homework, mainly because I like saying things like this to more than just my own litle moleskine. So hello out there, LJ, and sorry I'm boring and don't have any pictures. (Comment on this)
Friday, February 8th, 2008
10:16 pm	angst! angst! angst! fuck thisssss. fuck weird relationships that i have no idea what they really are, fuck wanting our mutual friend, fuck having to work with both of them cme summer, ughhhh wtf am i going to do? not expecting answers, universe, just needed to pound it out on the keys somewhere, and what else is eljay for but ANGST ANGST ANGST????? m: call me more, hang out with me more, tell me what the fuck you want this to be e: stop being so damn attractive and flirting with me me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (Comment on this)
Monday, October 29th, 2007
9:33 pm	things i like a lot lately 1. my dad/mom's music collection. i imported Legalize It by Peter Tosh, Natty Dread by Bob Marley and the Wailers, American Beauty by the Grateful Dead, the White Album by the Beatles, Eastern Sounds by Yusef Lateef...and on vinyl (i bemoan my lack of a turntable) they've got Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars and Aladdin Sane by the Bowie, Meet the Beatles,Rubber Soul and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band by duh, a recording of a live jam between Ravi Shankar and Ali Akbar Khan, Jacques Brel's american debut, and flamenco guitar...plus probably a shitload more that I didn't commandeer. 2. the accordian. I am dying to learn it. I vow to learn it in college somehow. I love any and all music that has it--Beirut, Devotchka, Gogol Bordello, Yann Tiersen spring to mind. On my birthday we went to a German restaurant and there was an oompah band with an accordian...I basically died of joy. Something about the multi-tonal sound and the French, German, Baltic and Roma connotations it has, plus the whole circus aspect, ignites a fiery passion within me. 3.beats. Seems like everyone has a beat phase and I'm sort of starting mine, I guess. I borrowed my friend's copy of On the Road and am now reading it (I am actually glad I'm reading this stuff now instead of at thirteen, like some kids I know...I feel like i can appreciate it better, especially Ginsberg). Plus the whole simple, no-shit style appeals. No gimmicks. No trying. Just being. 4. my gold sneakers. I got them for like 10 bucks at Buffalo and they are in near perfect condition and BRIGHT SCREAMING GOLD. I haven't worn sneakers in years but i'll make an exception for these beauties. 5. unfussiness. Contrived, derivitive, attempted and overthought ANYTHING just blows, whether it's fashion, music, decor, writing, or overall view on life. Stop reaching blindly for something you think your life should be. Live it how it is and improve what you realistically can. 6. wide legged pants. Because I am so short all the wide-leg pants I bought like four months ago are just getting hemmed now (thanks school for fucking up my free time). I can't wait to wear them with my loafers and a wifebeater. Plus they sort of make my ass look bangin'. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007
10:44 pm	here is the poem i did for the show at camp. the prompt was to write about what we found beautiful, so i chose the skeletal system. the arches spans and planes of ossification, zygomatic, joined in the fluid synovial a network frames and support calcified cathedrals basilicas of bone the labyrinthine sinus ways many pronged phalanges birdskull sweep of scapulae wavelike thrust of ischium the canyon ribs razor hips, a genius design intrinsic, necessary, akin in all pearly and whitestone the frame to the stretched canvas of flesh clattering silent unseenunknown yet always there the skeletal system (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 27th, 2007
5:11 pm	It's only fashion So after much poring over style.com runway photos, especially those condensed into my own handy dandy "lookbook" thing, this is what I wrote (with much less verbosity) in my Moleskine, so I could tote it with me to stores. Even if no-one reads this, I like to type it all down :] What to Get for Fall 07: Realistically Higher Rise Anything *Hopefully low-rise will be dead and gone. I am not advocating Mom Jeans, a Lack of Torso Beyond the Breasts, or Shorts That Eat Your Ribcage --Pants. Katharine Hepburn style, or more mannish, with a barely tapered leg. Nearly every designer showed mannish, slouchy pants and I WANT SOME. They look very French, very gamine-esque. --Fuller Skirt. Not a bubble or tulip shape, but a more classic, New Look bell-shape, only now softer and shorter, perhaps to just above the knee. Makes damn near any waist look willowy, as well as the legs if it falls correctly. --Pencil Skirt. Wear it longer, at the knee or below, and sit it at your natural waist or just above. A personal favorite of mine for a long time. I think it's sexy and easier to wear than it looks. Texture Details *There was so much texture everywhere in every shape, color, and form imaginable. Fashion is returning to being a pleasure and sensory experience, not just something to cover the body minimally, as seen in the 90's. --Corduroy. The mother of fall fabrics. Pants or jackets, even skirts. Keep it either very fine or very wide to avoid looking nebbish, unless you want that. --Fake Fur. I know most of the designers paraded out real fur--PETA's going to have a field day--but for both price and ethics, fake fur will do just fine. Get a jacket with a good cut, either close or chubby, or a stole. --Metallics. Anything with sheen, really, be it lame (no AA leggings for me, though), PVC, satin, silk, or synthetics like nylon or paperthin plastic. True lame is pure 40's movie star, not AA porn. As much as I love AA... Volume Details *Harder to find yet easier to work than most people think. Made for really interesting show viewing--no two designers put emphasis on exactly the same spot. --Gentle hourglass shapes. Imagine a Greek toge, with its fluid drape, lightly cinched at the waist, and you've got the idea. I think it was Michael Kors who showed a dreamy grey dress that demonstrates this perfectly. Try hitching up a drop-waist dress. --Wider Shoulders. A few designers showed literally wider shoulders, but those are too 80's to me, and make me gag. Instead try Lanvin-like ballooning at the shoulders, like an old leg-of-mutton sleeve, or a puff-sleeve on steroids. --Or, conversely, go close to the body. I'm not talking Alaia-cling, more of a gentle skimming by knits and stiffer fabrics, like tweeds or wool. A long, lean line is the desire effect, not letting every bump show. Colors *This is a jackpot color season for me personally, as I both love and look good in these tones. These are also more wearable than spring's harsh whites and neons. God, how I hate neon... --Neutrals: grey, black, olive, taupe. These are not as harsh or drab-looking, though; look for tones with depth and richness, especially in your basics like pants and jackets. Camel should be making a comeback and I am glad of it. --Rich tones. Inject these into your basics and you have the look. Jewellike shades of green, red, and orange pervaded; my favorites, though, were the luxurious bright purples and royal blues paired with black. Check DKNY. Overall Aesthetics --Classy and thought-out and put-together, but with a slight edge of dishabille carelessness: a socialite in the old sense getting home from a Fitzgeraldian soiree. --Natty Prepster. Balenciaga hit the nail ont eh head with this one. Read Donna Tartt's The Secret History to get the mindset. --Drama in Dressing. This doesn't mean flamboyance, hardly; it means again class, thought, and true style. The vivid colors, touchable textures and softly dramatic volumes attest to that. (Comment on this)
Monday, June 25th, 2007
9:03 pm	May-December WARNING: THIS IS EXTREMELY LONG AND RATHER POINTLESS. In the past whatever span of time I've come to realize I have a serious thing for older men. This mostly means celebrities, but my most satisfying hookups were with guys both three years older than I was at the time (never mind that right now I've got a crush on a boy in the grade below me, whatever...) But that post in blackcigarette got me thinking: what is it that I find so much moe attractive about the older celebrity set than the "Young Hollywood" batch that crops up every few years? Sure, many of them are extremely cute (Heeeeyy, Gael Garcia Bernal!) but they don't inspire the same fervent, fan-your-face and fall down lust/love I've got for more than a few men in their prime: Johnny Depp, always and forever. Yeah, he was sexy back in the Cry-Baby days, but I am of the opinion that he gets more and more attractive with each passing year. I think it's because his face gets less round and boyish and more defined and refined. Plus that stubble. Mmm. He was my first big-ass celebrity crush and he always will be. I'd do him without questions or compunction. Alan Rickman. He's amazing in all of his roles, but I especially loved him in Dogma. He had the black hair and snarky attitude of Snape without the greasiness or creepiness...but anyway, I think what's so oddly attractive about him is that alone, his features shouldn't work, but they come together well and produce harmonious sexiness. Robert Downey Jr. I didn't think he was attractive for a very, very long time, but then something woke me up. It might have been this very picture. Just sayin'...the more I looked, the more I liked. I like his eyes especially, and I love him with facial hair (I'm sensing a preference of mine, perhaps?). But most of all I love how frank he is about all the fucked-up times in his life, how he doesn't hide from it or make it more than it was. He also seems like he'd be hell of fun to hang out with, like maybe he wouldn't mind just getting terrible diner food and watching Japanese yakuza flicks on the couch. Christian Bale. Oh, Christian Bale...I know he's not OLD or anything, in fact, he's probably younger than the rest of these guys, but he's definitely not one of those fresh-faced girlyboy actors. Again, I prefer him with some scruffiness, but he's perfectly palatable without. I get this weird impression that while he's probably the nicest guy you could ever meet, he's a total animal in bed. Or at least, he could be if he felt like it. And that's really, really awesome. BENICIO DEL TORO. He comes in 2nd place behind JD as my favorite older-guy man candy. A lot of the time he looks totally weird, dirty, and tweaked, but goddammit, I'd do whatever he asked just because. The voice and the eyes (oh god, they are the best color) and the overall "fuck-you" demeanor add up to one supremely doable package. God, I kind of get worked up just looking at him. He's the type I'd just want to go on a monthlong bender with, drunk and strung out and fucking like rabbits the entire time, and then only see a few bingeing weekends a year and do it over again and never talk to him between. Enough. Can't take it anymore.... but I also find it interesting that each of these specimens are also damn good actors, bordering on insanely excellent. Talent certainly compounds any sheer physical attraction. (Comment on this)
Friday, June 15th, 2007
12:55 am	another free write--deaux can't even move but for the pull of gravity-- i can feel the impact of law on my molecules and there's vivid hued rings, spanning outward into space (Comment on this)
Monday, May 28th, 2007
12:47 am	freewrite poetry? there's a few things i think, all salt-sprayed, faded worn, grasping and wringing, a few wild aches in the center of my chest and collarbones, this taste or tang on my tongue, my throat that limns the reflection of my fool's unable cardiac muscles, it me want the rise of the wood on the ocean the canvas all patched, and the flag rising to blot the sun if only for a moment--cutlass ready-- jewels all stolen from women and then it goes to dunewashed house, smudge of incense tuareg, bedouin wrapped and kohled and waterskinned copper wings rising, eyes of cold hard jewels, silver skin, someone impossible, unreal truly unreal lost fragments of fantasy, faraway places and voyages to theses cobbled streets, these gas-lamps, arrondisements, palazzi, biergartens of countries,cities i have never seen, but feel deep in the marrow like gravity pulling my bones to a half-remembered, no, barely remembered living, never-occurred living, this throb to go elsewhere, elsewhen--nostalgia for places i have never been nor ever will go back to, only forward from i say it is because i am only a writer, that my imagination is too easily spurred and let to indulge, debauch wildly with the black-and-white words in typewriter keys somewhere in my temporal lobe, but it's got to be something else, marionette strings of the past pulling on the manifold actions of the present, reaching forward botanically, snaking tendrils around solid now (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 26th, 2007
7:28 pm	No images in what should be image-heavy I'm too lazy to put up pictures, so shoot me. Not really. Anyway.... 1. Saw POTC: AWE last night. FUCK YES. I don't care what any critic says, the POTC franchise will always be an awesome series (this is a fat middle finger to you, Mick LasSalle of the SF Chron) and Johnny/Jack always makes me swoon. The guy practically ruined dating forever for me, as I saw the first when I was at the impressionable age ot 12 and cannot now find anyone to measure up to Jack Sparrow. Oh well. 2. Got my SAT II scores back--surprisingly, very surprisingly, I scored higher on US History than Literature. I'm considering retaking the Lit next year because I want to kick its ass. 3. I'm biking everywhere and I really like it. Not only do I feel like I'm being both healthy and eco-conscious, I feel ridiculously European and Amelie-esque. 4. Only SAT 1's and a few finals left until summer. I can do it. I can fucking keep my GPA as high as it is. 5. I really, really belonged in the eighteenth century. I really did. Or the 20's. Or the 70's. Or the Renaissance. Or ancient India or Morocco. Or the Ottoman Empire. Anywhere but here and now. 6. Actually I do like being here and now...just not right now. 7. I keep dressing like a gypsy who fell into the closet of a slutty carny who'd stolen a few things from a pirate. A guy pirate. 8. I can't fucking wait to get to college. God. 9. I'm getting a cold and it blows. Literally. 10. Here is the first paragraph of the first chapter of my newish story to read, because the rest of this is just whingey personal shit. I met her at a party. People seem to think we’d known each other for years or something, maybe we did. She thought so when we first met. Maybe she was right. I don’t really remember being a kid too well. I was sitting with some dumbasses who wanted to beer bong and maybe get some pussy later in the night. It was one of those late-summer rains when the air is warm and the drizzle cool when it dapples across your skin, and this backyard, it was amazing—all these levels of lushly planted near-tropical greenness, with little yellow lights strung up between the trees, some rich kid’s backyard and no one was appreciating it, just taking advantage of the bushes and sending up plumes of bluish pot smoke into the night. Anyway, it was a drizzle that was slowly giving way to real rain, and the jerks kept going on about how they wanted some ass—somehow “pussy” and “ass” were interchangeable—and I’m just smoking a fat joint and staring off up one of the paths, and she comes down, and she’s in this white dress and the little lights make her look like some sort of wet wood nymph. (Comment on this)
Friday, May 18th, 2007
9:45 pm	you remind me of cocaine Feel sick. Not cool. Today was weird but good--fine day at class, nothing eventful happened except for watching Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon in philosophy. I so love that class. Anyway I hung outwith Morgan and her boyfriend's/my sort of friends' band and it was pretty nice, we played some ping pong and I totally blew it by hitting the ball into the neighbor's yard. I officially suck according to Ben. I had a Tab on an empty stomach and I think that's what's making me sick...but anyway I was kind of confused as to why one guy kept flirting with me when his girlfriend (an astoundingly nice girl) was RIGHT THERE. I mean he's a great guy too, I've at least sort of known him since grade school, but...what? Tangent: I'd love to get into mediation and mindfulness and spirituality again. I was really, really spirituality-oriented from about sixth to ninth grades, but somewhere on the boozy pot-filled road it got lost. In philosophy we did a mindfulness exercise and mediation outside in the wind and grass and it supremely beautiful. I could feel myself falling quickly back into the old pattern--in, hold, out, pause, in, hold, out, pause, think of nothing, whatever comes up is accepted and let pass--with ease and when I opened my eyes I felt so grounded, so centered and right again that I immediately vowed to do at least one tiny mindfulness exercise, if not mediation, every day. It's been good so far: today's was petting my cat, enjoying her company; yesterday's was eating an orange. Tangent Deux: don't get me started on dudes, my friends, or testing. I will break down into a mess of confusion. (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 12th, 2007
2:26 pm	1. my back aches. 2. my brain is dead from AP testing. 3. i have another one on wednesday. 4. my room is a mess. 5. the only thing i want to listen to is snoop dogg. 6. and the veils. 7. dk is moving. 8. sat's are in june but besides that things are really pretty awesome. (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 21st, 2007
7:07 pm	"there is so much pot being smoked right now" happy belated 4/20 everyone. The "pot"luck last night was perfect--everyone had something to bring, be it food, weed, or instruments; at the stroke of 4:20 there were, inside one huge tent, a smorgasbord of pieces to smoke from: two bongs, three bubblers, three pipes, a hookah, and approximately five fat j's, all with different weed in them. I lost track of how much I smoked after the third round of bong rips. I ate a shitload, but it was healthy food...? There were people coming in and out constantly--some punk who talked with me about how being vegetarian was great, a kid with a mohawk, a group of giggly sceney girls, some weird dudes no one knew, an assortment of troubadours all circled together playing, the kid who's always tripping balls in science class next to me, and of course all of my friends. And me. I think I got more baked than I ever have been before. Seriously. After a certain amount of weed I think my brain just decides it's time to kick back and let the pot take the reins, which would explain why I barely talked the whole night and can't remember specific details about anything. (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 8th, 2007
12:27 am	my friend dario So yesterday and today were good days, good in that uneventful kind of way that's so pleasant. Yesterday was basically 10 hours of hanging out with a fuckload of kids I don't know plus two I do know. Turtles were picked up. Jolly ranchers were eaten. Screams were instigated. Swings were swung. Cars were driven. A badass game of kickball was played. A little weed was smoked. Smoothies were spilled or run over. Jeweled cats were spoken about. Fries were eaten. Old ladies were unintentionally frightened...to sum it up. This Friday made up for last Friday's complete shittiness. I'm feeling stupidly upset about losing my wayfarers. When I see them on people I cringe a little and smack my forehead.... Today was nice too. I went into the city with my mom (yeah I'm a nerd) and we got some shoes to go with my dress for prom, plus badass beatle boots and some orange replacement sunglasses (cheap) to tide me over until I can afford another pair of wayfarers. Then we came home, I randomly ate a little indian food, and Jill came by at like 9 to pick me up and spirit me off to San Rafael where we ate some sushi and then she was still hungry so we went to Crepevine and she wouldn't let us touch her crepe...the really cute waiter guy thought we were nuts, but we weren't doing much to dissuade his perceptions. Then we blasted reggaeton and attempted to rap on 101 as we drove home. Sweet. (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 31st, 2007
7:02 pm	Fucking pissed Things That Suck When You Lose Them: 1. Sunglasses. Expensive sunglasses. 2. Weed. Lots of really chronic weed. In the space of three days! My horoscope did say I'd be absentminded lately. (Comment on this)
Monday, March 19th, 2007
5:58 pm	PROCRASTIANTION NATION!!! So here I am posting two days in a fucking row. Fuck. Can I say it again? Fuck. I have to do things--write an essay, register for SAT's, register for SAT tutoring, photocopy some shizz--but I feel absolutely no motivation to do it whatsoever. None at all. And I know I should, and the essay is only supposed to take 40 minutes anyway, and registering will be a snap, as will photocopying, but it doesn't fucking matter, all I want to do is sit around like a douche and whine to LJ. I went to Hannah's earlier and we just ate and talked and listened to Broadway musical soundtracks, but it sort of reinforced my previous no-friends post, because she dropped me off at home--to go hang out with her friends from drama. So to keep this from being the typical angstfest, I'm making a list of things I love right this very second. 1. My black power ring. Okay, it's not really a black power ring, but it's the head of a black panther, and it looks awesome when I make a fist-pump, therefore it's my black-power ring. 2. New shoes. I got two new pairs this weekend on my mother's dime, and they're both wicked cute. Especially the leopard-print ones. 3. Weed. It's my friend.I don't have any now and won't till Thursday, but I love it just the same. Is it bad I now prefer to smoke alone? 4. 2nd period. I love that class, I'm not going to lie. AP Comp kicks ass. Even the lame kids. 5. 7th period. Fun people to talk to+cute boy+nice teacher=good AP US class 6. Nerds. I represent. 7. Sweating my ass off. I dance madly about my room and then do hardcore crunches/pushups/militant yoga. It feels like I'm gutting myself in a good way. I want to get some running shoes and pound the fuck out of the pavement. 8. The fact that I'm angry now. Whay the hell am I angry? I don't know but I like it. 9. 24. It's on in three hours. I can't take it. PEACE OUT, INVISIBLE PEANUT GALLERY. some pictures for prettiness Carousel in Santa Cruz. Ferris wheel, July 06 Street art, Chicago, May 06 (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 18th, 2007
10:04 pm	Nothing doing Lately things have just felt like shit on certain levels while others feel fantastic. I really like where I am with school/that shit lately: I don't feel like SAT's and AP exams are going to be that hard, and I think I actually get this thing called "studying" now. My photography has also been improving, and I like where I am with that. I'm also excited for college now--I don't get anxious and hyperventilated like I did a year ago. I actually can't wait. Otherwise...I barely have a social life outside of school anymore. I feel alienated from most of my friends. Do I have friends? I have people I hang out with, but no rock no person I can call up anytime, anywhere and not feel just a little bit awkward. I don't know what it is. My mother says it's just maturation. I say it's me being a Scorpio and a nerd. And maybe growing up, whatever that means. I also end up blaming mostly myself for these things. Sure, some people have drifted away due to personal shit and switching schools (even though that school is a block away), but other people I have no excuse for except for my own inveterate fear of letting anyone in too close. Funny how I say this in a public space. No one reads this shit anyway, and it's fine by me. But I was at A's house last night and I don't know...I'm not one of those people who talks very much anyway, and it felt weird at times--am I boring to her? I can type on and on about the problem I have with silence, but it feels like I have nothing to say around people anymore, except in Philosophy class, where I blurt out things without raising my hand and with a blatant disregard to the douchebag expression on the douchebag who sits across from me. But that's another story. Back to the point: esp. when her boyfriend came over. Now, I realize it's obviously weird (to me) to be the third wheel, but we barely talked. At all. Not even over shitty french fries at Denny's near midnight. What is my problem? edit: Actually all this alienation shit is probably because I don't have a myspace anymore. Sad but true. (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 10th, 2007
6:52 pm	So while I'm gradually spiraling back to sobriety I thought I'd ramble about whatever the fuck is on my mind at the moment. Number 1: I'm probably staying home tonight and not partying and it's really okay. I had a nice smoke sesh by myself and it was good. Earlier I did intense yoga, walked to the shopping-center and ate delicious Italian pasta salad with kale and white beans in the sunshine whilst reading a magazine. It was really enjoyable, especially as the weather has been so good lately. I realized I can keep myself in pretty good company; that my worries about my friends are unfounded, and that I should trust my gut when it comes to those sorts of things. And pasta salads. Number 2: I've been thinking about things that are way in the future like tomorrow depends on it. Specifically, where I want to spend my time abroad in college. I'm a total pussy for being so worried about something that's four or five years away, but I can't choose between Spain, France or Italy, or Sweden/Scandinavia. Italy is winning out at the moment, although it was Spain not too long ago. Number 3: I've also been fretting over what I actually want to do in college. major in art or English? Art history or fashion design? Goddammit. Never mind that first I have to take SAT's, take AP Exams, and apply to colleges before any of that even become pertinent. Number 4: Referring back to #2, I'm fantasizing about the stuff I'll do whislt abroad and I'm worried it'll be a total letdown. As of now I can imagine myself perfectly in Milan or Rome, wandering the streets in a cotton dress and beat-up ballet flats and aviators, stopping to take a shot of an alleyway or sketching a statue. Then, later, Giancarlo would take me across town to some hole-in-the-wall place that made great panna cotta and played scratchy opera, and and he'd say things like "bellissima" while I ate said panna cotta. I worry myself sometimes. I think it's the natural byproduct of having an overdeveloped sense of image translated to words. Number 5: I still love weed. Number 6: I have an insane crush on Ami James. (Comment on this)
Friday, March 2nd, 2007
10:40 pm	February was night class, cream eggs, NEW YORK CITY: (cold cold cold, boots, salt pavement, fiamma, boy on subway, bruised hips, camera, taxicabs, brooklyn, museums, cute boy in gallery, chocolate, madison avenue stomping, soho stomping, balthazar, exploding suitcases, stam bag...) soymilk hot chocolate, daughter of fortune, no parties, trench coats, dirt, rain (Comment on this)
Friday, February 2nd, 2007
6:00 pm	January January was: ukrainian gypsy-punk, cheap vodka, ambulances, chapped lips, painful shoes, soy chais, asiago bagels, acqua panna, yerba mate lattes, billy idol, bedeviling circumstances, sitting on the grass, philosophy class, devry, lost weekends, below-freezing morning walks, old-woman scarves, impatience for february. (Comment on this)